UR students, we’ve all been there. Got some Pit burgers in your pockets, you trip up a rock, and boom, you’ve got pickles and mayonnaise all over your Adidas tracksuit. Your friends call you “Burger Boy” for the next three years, just because you wanted to keep some Extra hot burgers for later.
Look, we’ve all been there, okay? Shame of the incident tanks your GPA, destroys your friendships and bleeds into your personal life, causing you to commit acts of treason against the government in a rampage fueled by marital stress. And of course, sometimes this incident forces you move to a new city where you change your identity and have a repeat of the exact same horrible incident, but this time with hot dogs, causing your new friends to call you “Harry Hotdog” when they don’t even know that’s not your real name! We’ve all been there !!
But what if I told you that there is a better way to keep your delicious meals warmer for longer? Spirits behind the invisible toaster™, comes: the Hot Fridge™!! I have leftovers lunchtime lasagna? Just throw that bad boy in the hot fridge™, and watch your tasty meal maintain its temperature indefinitely !!
Got another lasagna to heat up? What are you, Garfield? Just kidding, the Hot Refrigerator ™ doesn’t ask those kinds of questions! Instead, the Hot Refrigerator ™ will ask you mental sharp questions, to keep you alert and on your toes!
That’s right, every time you place an item in the Hot Refrigerator ™, a bear trap-like claw traps your arm *, and the voice-activated lock can only be released by responding to one of the many questions regarding the rise and fall of the Russian tsars.
The people at HQ called me crazy for installing the Dynamic Intelligence Claw Kremlinologist (DICKS) system, but my position is firm and hard. There are no rewards without risk, and the price of such awesome power cannot be measured in purely monetary terms. To use the Hot Refrigerator ™ is to become divine. You have to be prepared to give him a piece of yourself, before he gives himself all to you.
pizzas! Pasta ! hamburgers ! The Hot Refrigerator ™ can do it all !!!!! ** Buy it before I replace your spleen with Jenga blocks !!!!
* Fuck You, Inc. is not responsible for lost hands, unless the appendix is partially broken up, in which case the company partially amputation of funds.
** The Hot Refrigerator ™ cannot mend a broken marriage. Deborah, please come home.
